Never Take a Naked Mole Rat to Norway

Do you find yourself in situations
Where you donít know what to do?
Youíre so afraid to make a mistake
That you get confused

Well just memorize these four simple rules
And you will never go wrong
Like when youíre shopping for a present
You need Rule #1

ĎCause it can be kinda scary
Picking out a gift for someone
Donít worry and get in a hurry
And choose a really bad one

Stop, take a breath (relax) and donít panic (itíll be OK)
Use your noggin Ďcause thatís why you have it
Youíll do just fine as long as you memorize Rule #1

Never give your neighbor a narwhal as a gift
Most people donít even know what a narwhal is
Heíll just put it up on a shelf I fear
Right next to the nanny goat you gave him last year
So never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never disobey Rule #1 (not at all)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never give your neighbor a narwhal

Now you know Rule #1
Thatís a good start itís true
But when it comes to traveling
You need Rule #2

ĎCause when you go on a trip
you need to know just what to bring.
Donít rush when packing your stuff
And take the wrong thing

Stop, take a breath (relax) and donít panic (itíll be OK)
Use your noggin Ďcause thatís why you have it
Youíll do just fine as long as you memorize Rule #2

Never take a naked mole rat to Norway
Itís cold up there, and anyways
Itíll make the Norwegians uncomfortable a bit
When they try to think of something nice to say about his outfit
So never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never disobey Rule #2 (no way)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never take a naked mole rat to Norway

Now youíve got two rules down
Youíre half way there you see
But when it comes to Mother Nature
You need Rule #3

ĎCause when youíre dealing with animals
You must handle them with respect
Itís not a race. Donít act in haste
And do something youíll regret

Stop, take a breath (relax) and donít panic (itíll be OK)
Use your noggin Ďcause thatís why you have it
Youíll do just fine as long as you memorize Rule #3

Never, never shove a nightingale up your nose
For nightingales a nest is best as everybody knows
Youíll just regret it once you go to bed
íCause youíll never get to sleep with a song stuck in your head
So never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never disobey Rule #3 (no no no)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never stick a nightingale up your nose


Three rules might seem like enough
But thereís one more youíll need
Whatís the point of living by four simple rules
If you only know three?

So remember this last rule
When someone asks a favor of you
Donít get so busy
That you forget what to do

Stop, take a breath (relax) and donít panic (itíll be OK)
Use your noggin Ďcause thatís why you have it
Youíll do just fine as long as you memorize Rule #4

Never donít not do nothing for nobody
Thatís a quadruple negative so who knows what it even means
If you do youíll get confused and bang your head against a wall
Trying to figure out if you did anything at all
So never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never disobey Rule #4 (donít you see)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never donít not do nothing for nobody

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