Never Take a Naked Mole Rat to Norway

Do you find yourself in situations
Where you don’t know what to do?
You’re so afraid to make a mistake
That you get confused

Well just memorize these four simple rules
And you will never go wrong
Like when you’re shopping for a present
You need Rule #1

‘Cause it can be kinda scary
Picking out a gift for someone
Don’t worry and get in a hurry
And choose a really bad one

Stop, take a breath (relax) and don’t panic (it’ll be OK)
Use your noggin ‘cause that’s why you have it
You’ll do just fine as long as you memorize Rule #1

Never give your neighbor a narwhal as a gift
Most people don’t even know what a narwhal is
He’ll just put it up on a shelf I fear
Right next to the nanny goat you gave him last year
So never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never disobey Rule #1 (not at all)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never give your neighbor a narwhal

Now you know Rule #1
That’s a good start it’s true
But when it comes to traveling
You need Rule #2

‘Cause when you go on a trip
you need to know just what to bring.
Don’t rush when packing your stuff
And take the wrong thing

Stop, take a breath (relax) and don’t panic (it’ll be OK)
Use your noggin ‘cause that’s why you have it
You’ll do just fine as long as you memorize Rule #2

Never take a naked mole rat to Norway
It’s cold up there, and anyways
It’ll make the Norwegians uncomfortable a bit
When they try to think of something nice to say about his outfit
So never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never disobey Rule #2 (no way)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never take a naked mole rat to Norway

Now you’ve got two rules down
You’re half way there you see
But when it comes to Mother Nature
You need Rule #3

‘Cause when you’re dealing with animals
You must handle them with respect
It’s not a race. Don’t act in haste
And do something you’ll regret

Stop, take a breath (relax) and don’t panic (it’ll be OK)
Use your noggin ‘cause that’s why you have it
You’ll do just fine as long as you memorize Rule #3

Never, never shove a nightingale up your nose
For nightingales a nest is best as everybody knows
You’ll just regret it once you go to bed
’Cause you’ll never get to sleep with a song stuck in your head
So never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never disobey Rule #3 (no no no)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never stick a nightingale up your nose


Three rules might seem like enough
But there’s one more you’ll need
What’s the point of living by four simple rules
If you only know three?

So remember this last rule
When someone asks a favor of you
Don’t get so busy
That you forget what to do

Stop, take a breath (relax) and don’t panic (it’ll be OK)
Use your noggin ‘cause that’s why you have it
You’ll do just fine as long as you memorize Rule #4

Never don’t not do nothing for nobody
That’s a quadruple negative so who knows what it even means
If you do you’ll get confused and bang your head against a wall
Trying to figure out if you did anything at all
So never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never disobey Rule #4 (don’t you see)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never
Never don’t not do nothing for nobody

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